A few months ago, I was asked to give a talk in church on the story of my baptism. I had only briefly told this story. I had never really sat down and wrote the whole thing out. What a day it was when I gave my talk. I'm pretty sure that the people in the ward recognize me by my talk! It touched a lot of people that day, and I was proud of myself;) So here it is!
I was asked to give a talk on my conversion story. Everyone has their own unique story. I want to begin with a book I had received Way to be: nine ways to be happy and make something of your life by Gordon B. Hinckley for my baptism. I remember reading about being humble and the book states. “Being humble does not mean being weak. It means being teachable. It does not require us to be trampled upon. It means acknowledging where our strengths and abilities come from. It also means recognizing that we are not here on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others. Recognize that everything you have-your time, your talents and skills, your health and energy, your accomplishments, and your very lives-come as free gifts from your Father in heaven. How humble we ought to be to think that he knows who we are, and that He is waiting to guide our every step.” God will make a way, will open a window, will show us a road even when it seems there is nowhere to turn. I knew choosing to get baptized was going to be difficult at times, but I knew Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father will always be there. Here is my story about true love, disappointment and my road to conversion.
My story begins when I was 19. My parents had recently moved to Chicago and I decided to stay to finish school in Cedar City, UT. I look back at that decision knowing my parents were upset and realizing I would be on my own for the first time. Something told me to stay. I moved in with some girls and battled myself daily on my decision. “Was I following my head and not my heart or vice versa? “ Until one day in late August of 2006, I saw my friend from high school helping some people move in across the street. My friend I walked over to say hi. That very moment was the moment of my first day of new beginnings. I had met the man who would be the one to save me. He would truly love me for who I am, not what everyone else wanted me to be. As soon as we locked eyes a rush I have never experienced came over me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that moment was the first day of the rest of our lives. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Every time I become upset or confused, I go back to that very moment. That moment of love at first sight. We ended up running into each other at school a couple of times and finally exchanged numbers at a bbq. We began hanging out and I soon realized that I had fallen hard for him. But I was scared because he was Mormon and I was Catholic. I had been hurt before by guys who broke up with me because I wasn’t a member or the parents didn’t like me because of that. The only thing I thought would prevent me from heartache was building up my wall and pushing him away. I told him we were too different for things to work. I wasn’t worthy enough to be with someone has great as him. So I tried, but I continued to find myself breaking down my wall and Brett fighting to break it down with me. I thought to myself “why would he be fighting for someone like me?” But Brett most of saw something I had never seen before in myself, my spirit.
We went for months being on and off. We made our relationship official in April of 2007. But a couple of weeks later Brett left to California to work for the summer and I was left in Cedar. I was back to my old ways thinking that things would never work out and I was crazy to think they would, especially now that we are having to do this relationship long distance. But I couldn’t give up on something we’ve both worked so hard on. I didn’t know what the future had in store for us or if there would even be one. But something told me to keep trying. That summer in early July I worked for a catering company and we did the EFY dinner over at the SUU institute building. That was the first time I had ever been inside an institute building. I felt something different, that I had never felt before but I couldn’t really explain it. I ran into a friend of mine from high school. We got to talking and I asked her if she could give me a Book of Mormon. I didn’t think someone could get that excited! She took my number down and told me she would give me a call tomorrow. I went home that night and thought a lot about the conversation I had with my friend. I thought a lot about my family, Brett and my past. I prayed that night and asked Heavenly Father for guidance because as stubborn as I am, I’ll need it. The next day as I was waiting for a phone call from my friend, a heard a knock at my door. When I opened it, there were two missionaries standing there. Surprised, I figured my friend had sent them. I began talking with them about my friend and they looked confused. They then told me that they just had a feeling to come to my door today and talk with me. Of course, I began to laugh and blew it off and didn’t think much about it. We set up a time for them to come back tomorrow. About twenty minutes later I got a phone call from my friend. I told her the missionaries had already come by and thanks for sending them. To my amazement, she was completely confused. She was sorry she hadn’t called me earlier because she was busy with EFY and that she was going to come by later that night to bring me a Book of Mormon. I asked her repeatedly “are you sure you didn’t send the missionaries?” She told me that missionaries she would have sent would have been two different guys anyway. I called Brett immediately and told him what had happened. He said to me “you don’t think that’s a coincidence do you?” I tried to think of every possible way the missionaries knew to come over. “There’s no way?” I thought. “Why had they come the day after I had talked with my friend?” I now look back at that night and know that Heavenly Father sent them over because He knew that I was finally ready.
As I began taking discussions, my family came into my mind. I knew how disappointed they would be and that they would think that I was doing this all for a guy. When the missionaries asked me to repent of all my sins, I imagined myself making a huge list and the bishop sitting in a chair sleeping while I read them all! Until it was further explained to me that it was different from Catholics. You just have to pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him for forgiveness and promise never to do it again. Even knowing that I was still apprehensive. Those missionaries must have had lots of patience and funny stories to tell when they got back home about me. I probably asked way too many awkward and weird questions and said some random things. But, those missionaries stuck with me and I will be eternal grateful for what they taught me.
One night while thinking about my life and where I was at, I had a revelation and wrote about it in my journal. “I went to a Catholic school for eight years. Religion class was a class that I went to everyday. But I moved to Utah when I was thirteen years old. Right as you’re really beginning to start to understand who you are and want to be. Also at thirteen I was diagnosed with type one diabetes. And to learn that for the rest of my life, I’ll be living with the fifth deadliest disease took a huge toll on me. I felt so alone and confused as to why me. So I did the only thing I knew what to do. I turned to church. Every day, no matter if it was in the middle of class, I prayed to myself. My family and I started going back to church, but sporadically. After they moved I found myself going alone. I would go and try to fill this emptiness and this desire to feel like I belong to something and if people asked I could tell them. All I could think about when I sat there by myself was how I felt abandoned and lonely even when I was at church. All I wanted was to be taught, but no one would ever give me the time or day at church. I started to think, why I should believe in something when the only thing I learned from it is to feel abandoned. I wanted my faith to be something I believe in, not just something I know. And for the first time people wanted to teach me and help me understand. And I finally felt that emptiness is finally being filled. Before I moved here, in seventh grade I had to write a paper on Mormonism and at the time I didn’t understand why this would have any significance to me. I realized that these aren’t just coincidences but promptings from the Lord. I didn’t know whether to act upon these signs because I didn’t want to hurt my family. I was hurting and confused so I prayed. Tonight I felt as if I could feel him helping me. I realized that I needed to start acting upon these signs and that’s why I decided to covert. I feel happy and a relieved that I’m starting to realize who I am and what I need to become. I’m proud of myself for the decision I have made and for the major step I’m going to make to improve my life and to come closer to my Heavenly Father. I couldn’t thank Heavenly Father enough for the guidance and patience he has shown me. He has guided me to find myself and help fill this emptiness that I have been so afraid of filling. I know it will be hard for my family to understand my decision. But I will still be Emily just much happier about life. They love me and I know all they want is for me to be happy. My heart feels filled and Heavenly Father has guided me to find my soul. He has opened my eyes to so much greatness. I couldn’t go through this journey without the Holy Ghost by my side. I never thought that something positive could come out of my life. I had a rough time along the way, but it led me in the right direction. For the first time in my life I realized that I am diabetic, but I am not defined by diabetes.”
On August 25th 2007, I was baptized a member of the Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints by the missionaries. Brett was there with his family supporting me. When it was time for me to bear my testimony at my baptism, I got up there and acted like I was giving an acceptance speech for an award ceremony. I said things like “give a shout out to my friends in the back, thanks for coming!” The best part is, I ended it with “well that’s it thanks!” I wonder what people were thinking. They probably thought I was crazy or something. I now know how to bear my testimony correctly without the shout outs and ending correctly, instead of well that’s it! Someone should really make a book for recent converts of all the things you should know before bearing testimony!
Three weeks after I was baptized, they called me to be a relief society instructor. Yes, I was probably as shocked as you are. I thought, “What are they thinking! I don’t even know how to bear my testimony correctly, let alone teach this stuff!” But I learned so much and not just from teaching but from the other members. I still have girls from that ward tell me how wonderful my lessons were and how it touched them to see me grow and learn as a member.
On February 14th 2008, Brett proposed to me in front of the St. George temple. People are always curious and asking about how my family felt or how they reacted. Well let’s just say it wasn’t the reaction you hope for when you tell your family you’re engaged. My family loves me though and supported me through it. July 25th 2008 was a bittersweet day. We got married in the St. George temple. My family wouldn’t come to the temple to take pictures and throughout the whole day they were there without really being there. I knew they must have felt betrayed, but I was determined to show that I made the right decision. With almost two years of marriage, I can tell you that we have proven to them time and time again that it was right. Even though the time may never be right for me to have discussions with my family, I know I am being a good example and I will always have hope.
As I reflect on my story of true love, disappointment and my road to conversion, I realized that the road seemed unbearable at times and giving up would be the easy way out. I knew that fate had brought me to this door and I could choose to open it or turn away. How different my story would be if I turned around and didn’t go through that door. Or if I never would have walked across the street. Brett and those missionaries are truly my knights in shining armor. They did something that a bus load of people would never try to attempt with me. I truly thought at 19 that my life was at the end of its road. Down a path that I knew in my heart was not the path for me, but with no where to turn. Until Heavenly Father opened my eyes to across the street and so much more. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
There it is! The whole thing! Let me know what you think:)
There were ducks in the water and I was terrified that they would get shot up in the air by the water! I know I'm a nerd! 
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